Your Alcohol Horoscope

Disclaimer: I am not a psychic. I am not a medium. I am not an astrologist, astronomer nor am I a fortune teller.

With the moon waxing and waning and you just wanting something to drink, the world can be a very confusing place. Check your alcohol horoscope for some clarity in an otherwise cacophonous world.

ScorpioScorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 21)

The impending cold front this weekend will make you excited to celebrate the lack of humidity with your best friend and/or love interest. Indulge in something with complexity to rival your mood. We suggest a bold red wine or a dark stout.

SaggitariusSagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

After a stressful week behind you, you’re ready to kick up your feet and relax. Grab a few ready-to-drink cocktails to chill while you Netflix & Vege, or splurge on your favorite vodka for the smooth sipping cocktails you’ve earned.

CapricornCapricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 21)

All is fair in love and war and alcohol. Stay on your guard this week as friends will try to sneak a beer or two from your fridge when you’re not looking. Stock that sucker with the year-round stuff and hide your rare brews somewhere safe for later.

AquariusAquarius (Jan. 22-Feb. 21)

The stress of the season is starting to get to you. Shake the feeling with a refreshing gin cocktail or something fruity to get your mind off Thanksgiving and focused on a tropical getaway.

PiscesPisces (Feb. 22-Mar. 21)

Your friends are ready to drag you to the next big party. Make sure you have something easy to drink by your side like a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc or Chardonnay. You’ll be pleased to find yourself ready when your friends come knocking on your door.

AriesAries (Mar. 22-Apr. 21)

Between honey-dos and running errands, you’ll have little time to yourself this weekend. But when you finally do, pour yourself a dram of Scotch and sink into the caramel, nut and spice flavors. (Also, click here to for a list of free Scotch tastings at ABC this weekend!)

TaurusTaurus (Apr. 22-May 21)

The moon is in position to give you a little luck, my friend. If handled correctly, you could find yourself as the new owner of a rare bourbon. I suggest you sign up for our Bourbon Lottery if you haven’t already.

GeminiGemini (May 22-Jun. 21)

Stick with your best friend this weekend as an impulse trip will turn into a memorable getaway. Pack a bottle of Cayman Reef Double Black to add to the fun of the trip. You’ll most likely stumble upon a few tasty mixers along the way; if not, this rum will be good as a solo sipper.

CancerCancer (Jun. 22-Jul. 21)

The prospects of an eventful weekend are low unless you plan one yourself. Schedule a guys night with a mix-n-match 6-pack and get a selection of interesting brews to try. Or get your girls together to sip on wine. We suggest Plumeria Moscato d’Asti for a bright, fruity, fizzy night.

LeoLeo (Jul. 22-Aug. 21)

A new love interest will make him/herself known in the next few days. Keep your cool and show off a little with a chilled vodka cocktail that’s easy to make, delicious to drink, and impressive to anyone watching you make it.

VirgoVirgo (Aug. 22-Sept. 21)

A longtime friend will need you this weekend. Be at their side, but not without their favorite wine. If you’re feeling adventurous while offering advice, pick up a bottle of Pulse Rose Grapefruit. Your friend will be thankful too.

LibraLibra (Sept. 22-Oct. 21)

Even though the weekend is prime for relaxing, you won’t be able to settle down until your place is clean. Get in the sweeping mood with a Sicilian Margarita. It’ll get you in gear to finish faster in order to have another.

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